Daring-Do at the DMV

Today I figured I'd make my move to Los Angeles even more official and took a little trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles to get myself a California driver's license and plates. I made myself an appointment through their website (something that was highly recommended by numerous sources) and, even so, it took me almost three hours to complete the entire process.

First I had to get my car "verified." I have no idea what that means... apparently they need to make sure that it is, in fact, a car? I just don't know. All I could tell was that it consisted of approximately half an hour sitting in the "verification" lane outside while no one came to do anything. Finally someone showed up, looked my car over, wrote down my VIN and other assorted info, and sent me back inside. Woohoo.

Then came the actual application and, after that, a written test. At least they didn't make me take an actual driving test; that would have just driven me crazy. Even the written test was a little annoying. It's been a while since I took driver's ed, after all.

Fortunately I knew most of the answers, except for a couple on which I totally guessed blindly (is smoking in a car that contains a passenger under the age of 18 illegal in California? Anyone?). Of course, it took approximately an eternity to learn that I'd passed, because the guy running the testing room wasn't the most efficient guy in the world. He spent a good 10 minutes trying to set up a cassette tape for a guy who needed to take an audio version of the test--A cassette tape?? Seriously? What decade is this?--while the player kept making noises that sounded very much like it was slowly consuming the tape. Once he'd figured it out, he then turned to the guy who'd approached the table after me and checked his test. The guy had failed. But he and his very vocal friend did their best to convince the DMV guy otherwise.

DMV GUY

I'm sorry. You didn't pass.

FRIEND

No. He passed. Check it again.

(PRISSY TEENAGE GIRL wanders in and completely bypasses the long and obvious line of people waiting at the counter.)

PRISSY TEENAGE GIRL

Excuse me. I need a test. Do I have to wait in line?

DMV GUY

(to GIRL)

Yes.

(to the MAN and his FRIEND)

He missed 14.

FRIEND

He passed.

DMV GUY

That's too many. This is the third time he's failed.

MAN

Second.

DMV GUY

According to our records, it's the third. See?

FRIEND

Those records are wrong.

It went on like this for a ridiculously long time until a different DMV guy came to check my written test, punch a hole through my Washington license and give me a temporary California license to hang on to until my real license shows up in a couple of weeks. So now my little purple hatchback has California plates and soon enough I'll have a California license. I have to say that I won't particularly miss that ridiculous vertical license that I had from Washington. It always really irked me that I was in that first batch of people for whom our first licenses expired when we turned twenty, so I was stuck with the "under 21" license until age 25. Bartenders always found it rather amusing.